Just getting through it

Tuesday I wake up and I’m not feeling much better. I get through the day and I guess I’m slightly less emotional. 

We have a whatsapp group and others seem to be making progress but I just feel rubbish. I guess that’s part of me beating myself up though and refusing to change. I’m definitely not one to go quietly but a kicker and screamer all the way. 

That evening I’ve arranged to walk a couple of dogs. I joined an app and have walked them a couple of times. They are two golden labs, one is 2 and the other about 11. The older one is a bit nervous and the first time I took him out escaped his collar and ran home. He was then ok and came with me. Last time I walked them he was refusing to go more than 50m away from home so I ended up just taking the younger one. 

This time he was still resistant to go. We got about 20m away from the house and he was refusing to go. So I took him back  and then set off again, this seemed to do the trick and although off to a slow start he eventually got moving and we were out for 2 hours. 

I love being out in the countryside exploring although I sometimes need a kick up the backside to get out there. The dogs live about 2 miles from where I live and even though I’ve lived in the area for 13 years I’ve not explored it before. It reminds me of when we had horses when I was younger and used to see a new bridleway and try it and see where it came out. I like to think I’ve got a reasonable sense of direction although sometimes my walks do take a little longer than they’d planned to!

Anyway, the fresh air did me good and I seemed to snap out of it. I went home and looked after myself and cooked a home made dinner, something I’m not always great at. Hopefully it’ll carry through until tomorrow. 

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